Reflections

 Hi all, this is like a conituation of the previous update and has been sitting in my drafts since June, I felt that it wasn't completed, like something was missing - I still feel that way but alas...here we are again. I hope you all enjoy this, I apologize for it being this short but I did not know what else to add on to it. I repeat I am not a writer so no judging lol. Xoxo

The sun slowly rose above her leaving a warm orange glow over the horizon. The sea water tickled her feet every time it came to caress the shore. The salty breeze held a calming effect to her thoughts as she looked around as yet another day came to life and everything returned to normal routine. The palm trees swayed to the rhythm of the wind. The waves rolled in gleeful joy before they crashed on the pier and the seagulls squawked to make their presence known in the clam morning. Nicki had taken a vacation to clear her mind of all that had been happening around her and what better place was there to provide serenity than the beach front? She sat taking in the beautiful, still calmness of the sunrise hoping it would clear her mind but all it seemed to accomplish was to make her wonder about how everything around her could simply go on without a glitch when her world had come to a screeching halt when he told her the one word that she had never dreamed of hearing coming out of his mouth. “Goodbye”

He had said it to her exactly three weeks ago at his concert but to Nicki it was as if he had spoken it a few minutes ago. His voice echoed within her, repeating, almost taunting her with the word. She remembered everything about that night, how he looked when he spoke to her, the boyish out grown curls at the top of his head and the shadow of a beard he had kept neat. How he smelled when he hugged her and the one that hurt her most was how he sounded when he finally let her go. His tone was defeated, his soul was drained and Nicki couldn’t bear the sight. She wanted to run to him and embrace him a tight hug and give him a kiss that would literally take his breathe away but contractual obligations stopped her. Obligations that she had agreed to without fully knowing the dire consequences that would result in them.

Nicki was taken out of her thoughts by the sea water that had now been slowly covering her legs. She decided to go up to her room to shower and maybe catch up on some sleep as she had immediately set for the beach after checking in. she hadn’t even bothered to unpack her bags. She quickly made it to her room and completed her bedtime routine and checked her phone for any important messages before putting it on the bedside table and calling it a night.

~~~~~~

“Tell me what you want baby” he whispered into her ear as he kissed the tender spot behind her ear. His lips caressed attentively down her neck as he awaited her response. His aim was not to mark her but he couldn’t help it when it was so easy because of her fair skin. He carefully disrobed her to reveal her ample chest that made his mouth water. His hot tongue was felt circling her left breast and his hand was massaging her right. Nicki gasped and let out a moan, the sensation his lips alone on her chest was enough to send her on a frenzy. Drake was always so caring to her and in her opinion those tender kisses on her skin proved nothing but his care for her.

She felt his tongue move lower and closer to her naval then he repeated “tell me what you want baby” Nicki was so caught up in lust that she almost didn’t hear him. She simply lifted her bottom hinting that she wanted him to pull off her thongs, he got the hint and caught the black lace fabric between his teeth and seductively rolled the material down her smooth legs all the while leaving a hot trail of kisses on her thighs. Nicki couldn’t keep her moans in any longer and let out a breath anticipating his next move. Drake was face to face with her pleasure center but refused to succumb to the gnawing need to quench his thirst “Tell me Nic…I am not going to do anything unless you tell me to” he said in a husky voice. He looked directly at her, his eyes dilated from the strong ambience of lust and sex in the hot air around them. Nicki was paralyzed in that instance the only this she could let herself do was succumb to pleasure. “oh Aubrey, please make love to me” And make love he did wasting no time from tasting his awaiting entrée…

“Damn, why do I always wake up before the good part?!” Nicki let out with a frustrated sigh. That dream had been plaguing her from the day she met him. She always dreamt them when she craved him the most but ever since she got a taste of how it was to be with him intimately, she dreamt of him every other night but whenever they would start doing anything worth anything she would wake up.

She stretched herself on the bed and looked at the time of the bedside clock, it was then that she realized that she had slept throughout the whole day. She then decided a little anonymous night out will do her some good…well as anonymous as she could get given that she was in Miami and it was a Saturday night. She quickly showered and opted for an all-black outfit. Black ripped jeans, Black tank top, Black Biker jacket and black wedge sneakers. She topped of her look with a simple side swept messy ponytail and minimum make up. Just because she didn’t want to be noticed doesn’t mean she couldn’t be cute while doing so. “That’s what we call blending in like a ninja” she giggled at her silliness as she looked over her appearance on the full length mirror.

She decided against the club scene as that would cause a raucous and opted to go to the little bar across the road from the hotel where she was sure no one would spot her. The goal for tonight was to drown her sorrows in alcohol while wallowing in self-pity. And drown her sorrows she did, to the patrons of the bar she was a little shy of a lunatic – taking pictures with everyone, slow dancing to dubstep and twerking to country music. The barman kept the shots coming and she kept the people entertained. It was a win-win.

She knew that drinking so much was not a good idea but she kept at it anyway. According to her she was having a good ass time and there wasn’t a damn thing anyone could do about it. However the bar closed at 2am and she just decided to stumble on back to her hotel room. She silently thanking her sober self for choosing to just go outside the hotel. She went straight for her phone before losing her nerve.

“*Beep* Hey Aubrey, I know it’s late, I just wanted to check up on you, see how you are holding up since we last met. Anyway hope you are well. Goodbye” click.

“Why aren’t you answering your phone? PICK UP I miss you!” click

“Aubrey?! I know you are not ignoring me for some random ass ESPECIALLY if it’s that bitch again. I am trying to talk to you! Answer ME!!!”

“I’m sorry for that last message. I am drunk. I am going to stop now. Sorry again. Goodnight”

“Well look at you, you are still at it huh? Well aren’t you KING FUCKEN DANGALANG??? You know what? Screw you Aubrey! I hope that pussy you are hitting is weak is FUCK! Fuck this. I am out!”

Nicki angrily huffed and tossed her phone on the bed while grabbing the readily made blunt from its packaging and made her way to the balcony. Her mind was everywhere thinking about what he was doing at this moment when he left his phone unanswered. The alcohol was starting to wear off and all her thoughts, doubts and fears came flooding back. She blankly stared at the sky, Dawn was breaking and she could hear birds start their morning songs and see the stars that continued to glow above. Again, the world around her was going back to normal and it only saddened her further as it reminded her how her entire world ended when she lost his love.

The sun rays pierced her closed eyes as she stretched her sore limbs. Her head was pounding from drinking and the bright sun made her feel dizzy. She rushed to go empty out her stomach. “Argh…why did I drink last night?” she asked herself. Once done she brushed her teeth and freshened up deciding to use the day to recover from the night before. She huddled back into bed and chose a movie to watch on her laptop when her cell phone buzzed. He heart stopped beating. Her throat went dry. Her hands started shaking awaiting the inevitable blow to her soul. She found her phone and unlocked it only to find business related texts. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She disliked to be scolded and more so she disliked to be scolded by Drake. She didn’t think her heart would be able to stand another blow from his rejection. “This is what you wanted though, right Nicki? Why are you not happy?” she asked herself. “Quit being selfish” her tears were falling again and dug herself deep in her blankets.

Hours passed and the tears dried. She was about to call and apologize for the messages when the phone beeped in her hand. It was a text. A text that let her know that not all was lost. A text that gave her hope that they could start rebuilding again. A simple text that somehow managed to make her heart flutter. A small smile made its way to her face as she read it.

Aubs: Come through.